Ontology is the study of being. When we talk about human ontology, what does it mean to be a human being? What are the parts that make us up? Not head, shoulder, knees and toes parts, but do we have a mind? Do we have a soul? Do we have a spirit? Do we have bodies? Are we bodies? All those questions, or it's variations of the same question is, what kind of being are we? Are we rational? Are we volitional? Do we have freedom? Are we gendered? All those stuffs is captured in human ontology.
“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” — Thomas Szasz
What is lost can never be found, what is found can never be forgotten.
So echoes the quest to realise our true identity.
You do not discover your identity in as much as you evolve into it. As you discard the image of the formed self, you allow the authentic self to emerge.
Your soul is who you are. Your body and your mind are what you use to experience who you are.
A strong identity is upheld by the capacity to realise your life purpose and live it. Those who stray from their purpose lose their identity and later strive to assign meaning to their life.
People in intimate relationships refer to similar feelings of losing their identity. These examples highlight the cause of attaching one’s identity to action — i.e. being, doing and having does not define identity. The ego adds a layer to the formed self to keep it safe while safeguarding its position in the world.
What if you failed to realise your purpose or if your relationship dissolved — what is your identity then? This is a common experience for those who endure a similar fate.
It begs the question — Who am I?
If I am not my ‘insert title here’ then who am I?
A title does not make up your identity, it adds a layer to it. A relationship does not define you, it complements you — it draws out the best in you.
If the relationship ends, it does not mean a part of you is lost. The relationship revealed aspects of your identity by adding a piece to the puzzle.
The perceived self is a façade owing to your past conditioning.
Reflect on that for a moment.
Who are you if not for the sum of your past? I.e. family, schooling, friends and life experiences.
Who is the person you call “I” after all?